Typically, Peggy has little patience for Howard Stark's plans, but when it comes with the stamp of the SSR on it, she has little option but to fall in line and do her duty, especially when Howard coaxes her and coerces her on the telephone with promises that she'll truly like this mission, though he won't tell her why he sounds like a child with a secret. She packs her bags and heads to the little home they've rented out in the Hamptons, ready to play dutiful wife to the agent they're sending to meet her.
Her packet has the background and her identity -- one Mrs. Penny Rogers, which stings because she didn't think that Howard would be so cruel in creating an identity for her, but she supposes that there are plenty of Rogers in the world. On the car ride there, she slides on the fake ring and stares at the way it dapples in the sunlight, letting her mind drift as she reviews the background and the objective.
The former spy (Russian) had defected and settled here in a lovely house, paid for the government, she imagines. There are secrets that they've been trying to get out of him, but nothing has worked because he's notoriously tight-lipped. This is why she's being sent in as the docile wife to try and loosen his tongue alongside the agent posing her as husband. She sends up a brief prayer that it's at least Sousa, because she can't bear the thought of acting as the little Missus to Jack Thompson for more than an hour. The mission should take two weeks, at minimum, and she really might kill Jack, if that's the case.
To take her mind off it, she reviews the folder again. She'd met her "husband" during the war and they had a secret wedding to avoid press (though why there would be press, she cannot imagine). When the car drops her off, she takes the key from the driver and murmurs her thanks as she smooths her skirt and assumes her character, heading to the door to let herself in. "Darling," she calls (to a hopefully empty house), "I'm home!"
Steve doesn't expect to hear her. Of all the people it could be, of all the people that Howard Stark could find to pair him with after all this time he thinks it's cruel to find the one person that he doesn't want to pretend to be married to.
He wants to actually be married to Peggy Carter.
She deserves better than this, this mockery at playing house with him and he has to draw in several deep breaths before he can set the mask in place and play the part. Can he pretend to be a happy husband with Peggy? The trouble isn't happy. The trouble is pretending.
"In the kitchen," he calls back, voice a little shakier than he'd like.
For a very long moment, Peggy wonders when she went mad. She avoids dropping her bag, but only just, and stands there for a long moment in the front hall running the possibilities because it cannot be him. She still has nightmares about the plane going down and of Steve's last words to her on the radio. She'd gone to the Stork Club after, everything seeming worse and worse with each passing moment.
Her legs propel her forward without her even realizing they're forcing her to face the situation, staring at the man in the kitchen and wondering if Hydra's technology (or the SSR's, rather) is so advanced that they're able to make a clone of him or a mask. Staying steady, she only lets herself stare at him for a moment before she starts a sweep for bugs with one of Howard's devices, grateful when nothing pings, and yet disappointing because now she has to face this man and understand how.
"You're not dead," is all she begins, carefully keeping several feet of space between them in the event she's walking into a trap.
"I'm not dead," Steve echoes. She looks the same as she did before that ill-fated flight but different, too. She's older now, there's grief etched in the beautiful lines in her face and his mind readily supplies that he's added to that grief. Who knows how many others she lost in the war, countless, but he didn't want to be one of them.
He wants to go to her and erase the distance between them but his feet are frozen and he's not sure how to start. He's not the kind of man to break a promise but he'd broken a big one to Peggy, the biggest one he's ever made. Is she going to forgive him for that?
"They found me, rescued me. I've been undercover in one assignment or the other ever since then. I wanted to contact you or anyone else but I've just been under lock and key for the most part. Couldn't even send a letter."
She's not sure what emotion is going to win, but she has the feeling betrayal is going to make a valiant attempt at being the winner. Her eyes are blurred with tears and she doesn't know what to do, but decking Captain America seems like the most reasonable thing to do, seeing as she can't knock out Howard Stark right now. Setting her things down, she eyes the windows and the sight lines, wondering if they're being watched, before she grips the countertop to try and keep herself in one place.
"No one told me," she says, her words clipped. "I thought I was walking into an assignment with Jack or Daniel. No one even mentioned you. I just thought Mrs. Rogers was a cruel joke."
"Howard wouldn't have toyed with you like that." Steve knows that Howard Stark can be a tease, at times, but he thinks the man realizes that he and Peggy are off limits. He's realized it on Steve's end, anyway, so hopefully he has from Peggy's as well.
"I wish I could have known how to get in touch with you. I've missed you so much since...well, since then. I've been thinking about you almost every day. I hate breaking a promise and I broke one to you, Peggy. Will you let me make it up to you?"
It's been years. She doesn't know how to get across how much she's been hurt in that time, but she's sure that it likely shows on her face. It's been years of her thinking that Steve is dead and not knowing what to do about it. She hides her gaze by sending her eye contact to the ground, breathing in sharply.
"Will you show me to the bedroom? I'd like to unpack," she says, to avoid allowing herself to break down. There's a mission at hand and she'll lock herself in the washroom in order to let her emotions out later.
[Briar Rose, Peggy will insist, remains the worst code name that she could possibly have to bear. It's bad enough that she'd woken up to her files saying that, but when her subordinates in the office continued to use it on missions, she thought perhaps she might have to invite them to target practice and remind people where her accuracy might hit, with enough anger. She's hardly a helpless maiden or damsel or anything and Peggy has to wonder, later, if this bitterness is why she had so fervently determined that she and only she would be taking on the newest mission.
There's a man suspected of being a covert agent for a Hydra cell and he's going to be at a popular club this weekend. Better, the man is a hermit for the most part and he has a very specific type, which is why Peggy had closed the file quickly and insisted that she'd be the one to take this mission, thank you, and no, she didn't need another lecture about the differences between the 1940's and the present (Barton) and no, she didn't need help picking an outfit (Romanoff).
Unfortunately, there is one person whose approval that she needs. Well, not precisely approval, but she needs to at least tell him that she's going. Ever since she'd woken up from the ice (thanks to Howard's machinations), she's been so immensely grateful for Steve's presence in her life. Sometimes, though, she has to wonder if she isn't simply burdening him with her presence and whether he's going along with things because this is how they used to be.
Shaking that off, she turns to the mission at hand and the task -- letting Steve know what she intends to do. Lucky for her, she can do that while she gets ready and as soon as she arrives back to the shared accommodations, Peggy swiftly launches into a greeting that bypasses the small talk and goes right to the mission parameters, deliberately avoiding looking Steve in the eye because if he thinks that he's able to shut this down, he's got another thing coming.]
I'll be out at the club with a backup revolver and I'll have contact with ops the whole time. You are not to interfere. I'm the man's type and I know that I can have any secret I want from him within an hour, maybe even less, if you stay away," she warns. "I'm the best one for this job. It's mine and mine alone. [This is all said quite breezily ignoring the part where she hadn't allowed anyone else to get close.]
The end rushes up to meet him before he can get all the words out. The cold is cruel and death is far from instant. He tries to hold onto the thought of her voice, tries to imagine her walking through the doors of the Stork Club in that red dress. His last thoughts before the world goes black are of Peggy Carter and the taste of her lips.
When he wakes he finds himself in a recovery room in New York City. He used to visit enough of them before the serum to know a hospital when he sees it. He sits up, nearly giving the nurse that enters his room looking down at a clipboard a heart attack when she walks in. Apparently she hadn't expected him to wake up this quickly.
They try to explain the situation to him - he's been frozen for a full year and the war is over - until Howard of all people shows up and makes even shorter work of the explanation.
"Yeah, frozen solid. You shouldn't be alive, but you are. Welcome back, Steve."
Howard tries to catch him up on what he can and Steve tries to wrap his head around all of it. It doesn't take him long to ask about the Commandos. About Peggy. Howard's eyes light up.
"She's here in New York. Still working for the SSR. I can take you to her if you want?"
Steve can't think of anything he wants more. Though, considering the chaos that ensues, he thinks he probably should've found her himself. He's sitting in the back of one of Howard's fancy cars when his butler, Jarvis steps out and disappears into a diner. Five minutes later they're in the alley, Steve's heart speeding up as Peggy emerges outside a back door. She looks just the way he remembers her and for a moment he forgets to breathe.
Of course in that moment, Jarvis has managed to get himself punched out and Howard has started the car. Steve knows what's going to happen before Peggy pulls out the gun and fires at the car and he ducks as Howard brings the car to a halt beside her.
"I know, we should've called," Howard says, leaning out the door and giving Peggy a shit eating grin. "Thing is, we don't want the public hearing about this until he's had time to get acclimated to things."
Steve forces himself to sit up in the backseat, his heart pounding as he meet's Peggy's eyes. His mouth is suddenly full of ash as he tries to speak. "Hello, Peggy."
Since Peggy had been back to New York, she's been throwing herself into work. The shadow of Steve lingers over everything and despite her intentions of letting go, she can't. With Howard constantly going up to the Arctic to search for him and her heart's silly unwillingness to let go, she finds herself stuck in love with a man who's most likely dead.
Every week, she walks to the Brooklyn Bridge and sits there to see the view he would have seen, which only continues to drive to keep Steve well and alive in her head.
And then, weeks after she's started with the SSR and she starts to believe the job almost intolerable (she wants to impress Dooley, but the men won't let her), Howard calls after one of his expeditions and is furiously vague, but he sounds relieved. Perhaps he's found the body and they can all finally have closure.
What Peggy doesn't expect is to be in the midst of filing for Thompson because he doesn't know his bloody alphabet, when all chaos breaks loose.
Steve is there. Steve is alive.
Hand on her gun, she's not entirely sure that this is real, and from the look on her face as she gapes at Howard, then Steve, and then at Howard again.
"You ought to get out of this car right now so I can punch you," is said to Howard, because he's the one who truly deserves it. Her eyes slide to Steve, narrowing as her heart pounds wildly. "I haven't decided on you, yet."
She has to work. If she vanishes like this, Dooley and the others will have a field day, crowing that she's irresponsible. And yet, she opens the other door to the backseat and crawls in, slamming it shut behind her. "How is this possible?" she asks, her fingers drifting to Steve, but not touching; instead, retracting back at the last moment.
"Punch me or kiss me?" Howard asks, his grin widening into a smile. He glances back at Steve who can't seem to stop staring at Peggy. He's gripping the back of Howard's seat tight enough to leave imprints of his fingers. "Careful, Rogers. This is a Royce."
And then Peggy's there, in front of him, her fingers moving towards him and then pulling back. He reaches out for her hand on instinct, enclosing her wrist with his fingers. Half afraid that she's going to climb right back out of this car. There are so many things he wants to say and yet, he can't seem to be able to form the words.
"We found him, Pegs," Howard says, seemingly all too happy to fill up the silence. "He was frozen solid. The serum kept him alive." Steve forces himself to swallow.
"I had a date," Steve says slowly, meeting Peggy's eyes.
Howard reaches out and pats him on the shoulder, taking a deep breath as Jarvis returns to the car. "Well, seeing as how someone just shot out our front tire, me and Jarvis will get to work on the spare and leave you two love birds alone." He squeezes Steve's shoulder and lets himself out of the car, leaving he and Peggy alone in the backseat.
Steve swallows, realizing his fingers are still around her wrist. "Sorry, when he said he'd bring me to you, I didn't think about things going this way."
"You already learned what happens when you try and kiss me, do you really want to revisit that?" she challenges Howard, hoping that he can remember the brisk temperature of the Thames. She's not looking at Howard, though, still gaping back at Steve like he's not actually real.
He can't be real, can he? How on earth can he be here and real?
"It would have been much better not to accost me in an alleyway, no," she agrees, but she's staring at him and she can feel the lump in her throat growing. She had mourned him, even if she'd never let him go, and now he's here and he's alive. "Were you conscious?" she asks, tenderly reaching for his cheek. "Could you feel the cold?"
"Howard tried to kiss you?" Steve asks, his brow furrowing as he watches Howard's retreating back through the glass window of the backseat. He's not entirely sure how he feels about that. Though he absolutely knows how he feels about Peggy's use of tried.
He smiles at her, leaning into her touch. Her question makes him think about freezing water and the cold seeping into first his bones and then his breath. He swallows down a sick feeling, looking back at her and trying to drink in the warmth of her face.
"I was out cold," he says, smiling faintly at his pun. He inhales deeply. "You look beautiful. It's so good to see you again."
"I knocked him in the Thames for it," Peggy announces proudly, a sly smirk on her face. "Do you know, he can't swim? The frogmen had to fish him out," she tells him proudly, delighted in the fact that she'd been able to show Howard why it's a bad idea to kiss her.
It's not even that she'd been waiting for Steve, not really, but with him here, a part of her has to admit that she'd been holding out hope. After all, she wouldn't even consider another man because a part of her kept thinking about Steve.
"I feel tired," she admits. "And Dooley is going to have my head for skipping out on the job like this, though only because they'll miss their lunch orders," she says bitterly. "Darling," she murmurs. "Oh, when they find out you're back, everyone will want a piece of you."
And yet, Peggy wants the largest slice of that pie.
Steve gives a small huff of amusement, a faint smile spreading across his lips at her recollection of Howard's attempt. He glances at Howard, casually leaning against the side of the car as his butler fishes out the spare tire from the trunk. His smile widens as he looks back at her. "Good."
He knows she's right, but here in this moment it's just the two of them and for that he's infinitely grateful. "Then we'd better make this moment count."
He's thought about this moment countless times, though never exactly under these circumstances. He leans forward the soft leather of the seat squeaking softly, as he leans in to kiss her.
The afternoon seems to crawl by and though he's grateful to Howard, for helping him to get his affairs in order - a room in Howard's penthouse and a suit that he can go dancing in - he is grateful for the hour or so he has on his own to get prepared for the evening.
The Stork Club is the way he imagined it, though it is strange not to see uniforms at every turn. With the war over, most men have packed away their uniforms and instead wear broad breasted suits. The line is outside the door, but he makes his way through with little fanfare in Howard's wake. They make their way towards the bar and Howard orders some liquid courage for him with a friendly pat on the back. Steve doesn't have the heart to tell him that it doesn't have any effect on him.
"You know, you look just like Captain America," a cigarette girl says, stopping as she walks by him.
Steve smiles, glancing towards the door before returning his attention to her. "I get that a lot."
"Not a bad fella to look like," she says, giving him a wink before walking away.
"You know, you're going to have to tell the world soon," Howard says, knocking back his drink.
Steve nods. He knows. "I just want one night before then."
Peggy had called off work the moment she got back upstairs, not giving a damn about Dooley's complaints or Thompson's insults. The only hesitation she had was when Sousa asked her where she was going. She liked him well enough, but Steve's sudden return shouldn't be relegated to office gossip, so she merely demurred and made up an excuse about a sick aunt. From there, it was straight home, because while she didn't want to reuse a dress, she also didn't want to waste any time.
She wore the gold dress that she'd worn undercover, aware that it would sparkle in the lights. The bad memories that went with it could be washed away, she hoped, but then, so many things she could wear had ill shadows cast on them. Peggy couldn't really relegate any of them to the past so easily.
She'd come to the Stork Club only the once before. It had been the date they'd been supposed to meet. She'd sat at the bar, drinking, and didn't dance the once. Tonight, she knows will be different. She puts her hair in an updo, curls falling over the nape of her neck, walking inside and feeling terribly nervous about all of this.
What if he's not here? What if something's happened to him?
It doesn't take long for her to place Howard in the fracas and with him...Steve. Frozen at the door, she clutches her purse a little tighter, beginning to let the crowd drift her towards him, feeling unsteady as she approaches, her heart beating hard in her chest.
When she reaches him, she stops two feet shy, looking up (despite her three inch gold heels), a hungry look on her face he ought to recognize. "It seems I'm late, this time."
He spots her in the doorway and the sight of her takes his breath away. Steve slowly gets up from his seat as she makes her way through the crowd, looking like some kind of golden angel.
He steps away from the bar, the world around them seeming to melt away as she stops before him. Film had always been an easy escape for him and maybe he's seen too many over the years, but as he smiles back at her with the knowledge that the night is theirs, he can't help but feel a little like the leads in one of the black and whites he used to watch.
"It doesn't seem fair to hold it against you," he says, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He holds out his hand, gathering up his courage. "Do you want to dance?"
She's glad that he hadn't come to meet her halfway, because she doesn't want to cause a scene. She wants this moment to be theirs and theirs only, which is why she's so happy when she gets to peer up at him from where she stands, remembering when it was the opposite way (and knowing she'd love him no matter what height he stands at).
"I have been waiting a very long time for the right partner," she agrees, her eyes fixed on him, holding out her hand. "I won't even mind if he steps on my toes."
"So have I," he says, taking her hand and giving her a small smile. He leads her out to the dance floor, feeling a bit awkward as he tentatively puts one hand on her waist. There hadn't been many opportunities to dance when he'd been coming up in Brooklyn.
He'd never wanted anyone to do it out of pity, or as a favor to Bucky. He'd also never bothered learning how to do the steps properly, though he had plenty of experience watching others dance. He knows he's no Astaire, but he thinks maybe he can avoid stepping on Peggy's feet if he's very careful.
"I'll do my best to make sure you don't leave with any broken toes," he says as he takes a few tentative steps.
Peggy feels like everyone is watching, but she shuts them completely out of her mind as she takes Steve's hand in hers, feeling the warmth and still not believing that he's real. It's all so suspicious, honestly, like a dream that she's had a dozen times before. Being pulled in, she can't help but laugh as she begins to follow, peering to their toes below.
"You're not even going to let me lead?" she teases, but she only presses closer as she stares up at him with such fond adoration in her eyes, utterly transfixed and caught up in the dance. "Darling, you could break my ankle and I'd still think this the best date of my life."
He smiles, knowing that Peggy is more than capable of leading and knowing that he would happily follow. That look in her eyes makes his chest tighten and he has to wonder how this can possibly be real when compared to those final moments in the plane so many months ago.
"Don't jinx me," he says, his voice low and eyes bright as he smiles back at her. Still, her words give him a boost of confidence. Even if he isn't the best dancer, it doesn't matter as long as he has Peggy in his arms.
[ In truth, Peggy is still reeling from the briefing.
For once, she'd thought that she was being brought in to actually be given a mission and to be set out into the world with purpose. Instead, she'd been sat down opposite a familiar man who wasn't familiar at all, told that he's Barnes, and that he's going to be filling in for Captain America because they need to keep the image going to keep the Russians in line after the war.
All that had been shock enough. What had been truly over the top for Peggy was when Dooley and the others had the gall to suggest that in order to keep the guise working and for everyone to believe it, she needed to be seen publicly and romantically linked with him.
"Everyone knows you and Cap had a thing," had been the unflattering way they had put it.
She wished that she could have said no, but unfortunately, her role with the SSR meant that she had to accept the missions she'd been given, even if this one felt utterly useless apart from her swooning in public. Romantic with a stranger. This was the best the SSR had to give her.
Standing at her desk, Peggy feels utterly aimless. She could call Howard and complain viciously to him, but she was sworn to secrecy. She knows that she ought to simply go and talk to Barnes, but she's trying to put it off for the moment. Leaning forward against the desk, she grips it and stares, steely, forward until Barnes is led out of the room as well.
Better to talk now, isn't it? Gesturing for him to come sit with her, she stays standing and wonders just what the hell she's going to lead with. This certainly had never been covered in any of her training. ]
[Truthfully, Bucky's still reeling from all of this. Ending up here, but also the fact that he's clearly been throw back into the past, the 1940s, the end of the war that he'd never seen. It's all a rush, being picked up by the army, handed over to the SSR. The way that things go from interrogation into the suggestion that he does what he'd been doing in his own world here. That he keeps the shield, and they talk about how good it would be for morale, keep the Soviets on their toes.
It had sounded fine, even if Bucky was still hoping to find a way back. But well, the briefing proved that it comes with a lot more strings than he'd been planning for. Namely that Steve had a girl here. And it's someone with a name he recognizes, even if her face isn't familiar.
When it's over, he doesn't push Peggy. He gives her space until she gestures him over, and he obligingly slides into the seat by her, a lift of an eyebrow. He's empathetic for her situation, really. Losing Steve and then being told that they were pushing someone else into the role, and that meant they wanted her to keep playing the part? He wishes he could apologize for it.
But considering this isn't his world, and he doesn't have much of a lock on a way back just yet, he's trying not to rock the boat all at once. Not yet, at least.]
I'm doing this for Steve, not for them.
[It's a quiet piece of honesty, an he's almost solemn as he looks into her eyes, a soft sigh on his lips. When he'd taken the job from Tony, he'd had a set of rules that went with it. One of them had been that there were no strings, that he didn't answer to anyone. This is pretty much the opposite of that, but he's biding his time for the moment. If he can't get back, if this is real? Then he might need to take a second look at the terms.
And the truth is that Bucky knows Steve would want him to do it. Maybe not like this, but he can still recite the words from the letter that Tony had received, he'd held it in his hands, read it over and over until the words burned. Don't let the dream die, because Steve thought it was bigger than him. And Tony had been right about the fact that Bucky wouldn't let anyone else touch the shield. So he ends up here for the second time now. His smile rueful, a little shy.]
You know, back home I didn't just work by myself.
[Which is a quiet sort of implication carried mostly in the look in his eyes. Because he doesn't expect her to just be his love interest, swooning in his arms for the cameras. He wants her to do more than that, could probably use it while he gets his feet. Given her tone, the sharpness of her eyes, he thinks that she wants more than that, too. But it's an offer, not a demand.
It's not that he trusts her more than the SSR, but Peggy Carter in his world was a woman that did what she thought needed to be done, had been Steve's flame back during the war. They might not be the same, but well. It's something to start with.]
[ She's been studying him since before the briefing. In truth, Peggy's been looking for similarities not only between the Barnes she knew and the one before her, but also from Steve to this man. After all, this Bucky is a Captain America, shouldn't that prove to hold some similarities to the one that had left her?
It also feels terribly like a relief. She'd thought herself alone. Steve, dead. Barnes, fallen. She still had the Commandos, but it was rather different with them. They hadn't had a connection to who Captain America was before the procedure.
When he speaks, she's thrown off guard again. He's not anyone she knows, though she's going to have to learn in a hurry, given her assignment (one that makes her bristle, and yet at the same time, she would rather accompany Thompson on a willing date than let anyone else have this gig). ]
I know. I am, as well.
[ Because that's the truth. Captain America had a compass with her photo in it, which means the world expects to see her with him. If they want to do this right and do right by his memory, she's willing to play along.
Lucky for her, it seems that Barnes isn't only wanting her to look pretty and polished for a few photography opportunities. ]
Oh? And what did your team do for you?
[ Best to find out precisely what he's after before she goes ahead and signs away everything she might not be willing to give, especially seeing as she doesn't actually know this man. ]
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timeasmymeasure
1946 - Project Silver Bells
Date: 2016-10-31 03:00 am (UTC)Her packet has the background and her identity -- one Mrs. Penny Rogers, which stings because she didn't think that Howard would be so cruel in creating an identity for her, but she supposes that there are plenty of Rogers in the world. On the car ride there, she slides on the fake ring and stares at the way it dapples in the sunlight, letting her mind drift as she reviews the background and the objective.
The former spy (Russian) had defected and settled here in a lovely house, paid for the government, she imagines. There are secrets that they've been trying to get out of him, but nothing has worked because he's notoriously tight-lipped. This is why she's being sent in as the docile wife to try and loosen his tongue alongside the agent posing her as husband. She sends up a brief prayer that it's at least Sousa, because she can't bear the thought of acting as the little Missus to Jack Thompson for more than an hour. The mission should take two weeks, at minimum, and she really might kill Jack, if that's the case.
To take her mind off it, she reviews the folder again. She'd met her "husband" during the war and they had a secret wedding to avoid press (though why there would be press, she cannot imagine). When the car drops her off, she takes the key from the driver and murmurs her thanks as she smooths her skirt and assumes her character, heading to the door to let herself in. "Darling," she calls (to a hopefully empty house), "I'm home!"
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Date: 2016-10-31 04:21 am (UTC)He wants to actually be married to Peggy Carter.
She deserves better than this, this mockery at playing house with him and he has to draw in several deep breaths before he can set the mask in place and play the part. Can he pretend to be a happy husband with Peggy? The trouble isn't happy. The trouble is pretending.
"In the kitchen," he calls back, voice a little shakier than he'd like.
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Date: 2016-10-31 11:08 am (UTC)Her legs propel her forward without her even realizing they're forcing her to face the situation, staring at the man in the kitchen and wondering if Hydra's technology (or the SSR's, rather) is so advanced that they're able to make a clone of him or a mask. Staying steady, she only lets herself stare at him for a moment before she starts a sweep for bugs with one of Howard's devices, grateful when nothing pings, and yet disappointing because now she has to face this man and understand how.
"You're not dead," is all she begins, carefully keeping several feet of space between them in the event she's walking into a trap.
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Date: 2016-10-31 05:49 pm (UTC)"I'm not dead," Steve echoes. She looks the same as she did before that ill-fated flight but different, too. She's older now, there's grief etched in the beautiful lines in her face and his mind readily supplies that he's added to that grief. Who knows how many others she lost in the war, countless, but he didn't want to be one of them.
He wants to go to her and erase the distance between them but his feet are frozen and he's not sure how to start. He's not the kind of man to break a promise but he'd broken a big one to Peggy, the biggest one he's ever made. Is she going to forgive him for that?
"They found me, rescued me. I've been undercover in one assignment or the other ever since then. I wanted to contact you or anyone else but I've just been under lock and key for the most part. Couldn't even send a letter."
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Date: 2016-10-31 11:21 pm (UTC)"No one told me," she says, her words clipped. "I thought I was walking into an assignment with Jack or Daniel. No one even mentioned you. I just thought Mrs. Rogers was a cruel joke."
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Date: 2016-11-01 04:51 pm (UTC)"Howard wouldn't have toyed with you like that." Steve knows that Howard Stark can be a tease, at times, but he thinks the man realizes that he and Peggy are off limits. He's realized it on Steve's end, anyway, so hopefully he has from Peggy's as well.
"I wish I could have known how to get in touch with you. I've missed you so much since...well, since then. I've been thinking about you almost every day. I hate breaking a promise and I broke one to you, Peggy. Will you let me make it up to you?"
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Date: 2016-11-01 09:38 pm (UTC)"Will you show me to the bedroom? I'd like to unpack," she says, to avoid allowing herself to break down. There's a mission at hand and she'll lock herself in the washroom in order to let her emotions out later.
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Date: 2017-10-29 10:20 pm (UTC)There's a man suspected of being a covert agent for a Hydra cell and he's going to be at a popular club this weekend. Better, the man is a hermit for the most part and he has a very specific type, which is why Peggy had closed the file quickly and insisted that she'd be the one to take this mission, thank you, and no, she didn't need another lecture about the differences between the 1940's and the present (Barton) and no, she didn't need help picking an outfit (Romanoff).
Unfortunately, there is one person whose approval that she needs. Well, not precisely approval, but she needs to at least tell him that she's going. Ever since she'd woken up from the ice (thanks to Howard's machinations), she's been so immensely grateful for Steve's presence in her life. Sometimes, though, she has to wonder if she isn't simply burdening him with her presence and whether he's going along with things because this is how they used to be.
Shaking that off, she turns to the mission at hand and the task -- letting Steve know what she intends to do. Lucky for her, she can do that while she gets ready and as soon as she arrives back to the shared accommodations, Peggy swiftly launches into a greeting that bypasses the small talk and goes right to the mission parameters, deliberately avoiding looking Steve in the eye because if he thinks that he's able to shut this down, he's got another thing coming.]
I'll be out at the club with a backup revolver and I'll have contact with ops the whole time. You are not to interfere. I'm the man's type and I know that I can have any secret I want from him within an hour, maybe even less, if you stay away," she warns. "I'm the best one for this job. It's mine and mine alone. [This is all said quite breezily ignoring the part where she hadn't allowed anyone else to get close.]
My War is Over
Date: 2018-11-15 05:40 am (UTC)When he wakes he finds himself in a recovery room in New York City. He used to visit enough of them before the serum to know a hospital when he sees it. He sits up, nearly giving the nurse that enters his room looking down at a clipboard a heart attack when she walks in. Apparently she hadn't expected him to wake up this quickly.
They try to explain the situation to him - he's been frozen for a full year and the war is over - until Howard of all people shows up and makes even shorter work of the explanation.
"Yeah, frozen solid. You shouldn't be alive, but you are. Welcome back, Steve."
Howard tries to catch him up on what he can and Steve tries to wrap his head around all of it. It doesn't take him long to ask about the Commandos. About Peggy. Howard's eyes light up.
"She's here in New York. Still working for the SSR. I can take you to her if you want?"
Steve can't think of anything he wants more. Though, considering the chaos that ensues, he thinks he probably should've found her himself. He's sitting in the back of one of Howard's fancy cars when his butler, Jarvis steps out and disappears into a diner. Five minutes later they're in the alley, Steve's heart speeding up as Peggy emerges outside a back door. She looks just the way he remembers her and for a moment he forgets to breathe.
Of course in that moment, Jarvis has managed to get himself punched out and Howard has started the car. Steve knows what's going to happen before Peggy pulls out the gun and fires at the car and he ducks as Howard brings the car to a halt beside her.
"I know, we should've called," Howard says, leaning out the door and giving Peggy a shit eating grin. "Thing is, we don't want the public hearing about this until he's had time to get acclimated to things."
Steve forces himself to sit up in the backseat, his heart pounding as he meet's Peggy's eyes. His mouth is suddenly full of ash as he tries to speak. "Hello, Peggy."
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Date: 2018-11-15 11:37 am (UTC)Every week, she walks to the Brooklyn Bridge and sits there to see the view he would have seen, which only continues to drive to keep Steve well and alive in her head.
And then, weeks after she's started with the SSR and she starts to believe the job almost intolerable (she wants to impress Dooley, but the men won't let her), Howard calls after one of his expeditions and is furiously vague, but he sounds relieved. Perhaps he's found the body and they can all finally have closure.
What Peggy doesn't expect is to be in the midst of filing for Thompson because he doesn't know his bloody alphabet, when all chaos breaks loose.
Steve is there. Steve is alive.
Hand on her gun, she's not entirely sure that this is real, and from the look on her face as she gapes at Howard, then Steve, and then at Howard again.
"You ought to get out of this car right now so I can punch you," is said to Howard, because he's the one who truly deserves it. Her eyes slide to Steve, narrowing as her heart pounds wildly. "I haven't decided on you, yet."
She has to work. If she vanishes like this, Dooley and the others will have a field day, crowing that she's irresponsible. And yet, she opens the other door to the backseat and crawls in, slamming it shut behind her. "How is this possible?" she asks, her fingers drifting to Steve, but not touching; instead, retracting back at the last moment.
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Date: 2018-11-16 04:56 am (UTC)And then Peggy's there, in front of him, her fingers moving towards him and then pulling back. He reaches out for her hand on instinct, enclosing her wrist with his fingers. Half afraid that she's going to climb right back out of this car. There are so many things he wants to say and yet, he can't seem to be able to form the words.
"We found him, Pegs," Howard says, seemingly all too happy to fill up the silence. "He was frozen solid. The serum kept him alive." Steve forces himself to swallow.
"I had a date," Steve says slowly, meeting Peggy's eyes.
Howard reaches out and pats him on the shoulder, taking a deep breath as Jarvis returns to the car. "Well, seeing as how someone just shot out our front tire, me and Jarvis will get to work on the spare and leave you two love birds alone." He squeezes Steve's shoulder and lets himself out of the car, leaving he and Peggy alone in the backseat.
Steve swallows, realizing his fingers are still around her wrist. "Sorry, when he said he'd bring me to you, I didn't think about things going this way."
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Date: 2018-11-16 11:23 pm (UTC)He can't be real, can he? How on earth can he be here and real?
"It would have been much better not to accost me in an alleyway, no," she agrees, but she's staring at him and she can feel the lump in her throat growing. She had mourned him, even if she'd never let him go, and now he's here and he's alive. "Were you conscious?" she asks, tenderly reaching for his cheek. "Could you feel the cold?"
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Date: 2018-11-17 11:13 pm (UTC)He smiles at her, leaning into her touch. Her question makes him think about freezing water and the cold seeping into first his bones and then his breath. He swallows down a sick feeling, looking back at her and trying to drink in the warmth of her face.
"I was out cold," he says, smiling faintly at his pun. He inhales deeply. "You look beautiful. It's so good to see you again."
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Date: 2018-11-18 03:38 am (UTC)It's not even that she'd been waiting for Steve, not really, but with him here, a part of her has to admit that she'd been holding out hope. After all, she wouldn't even consider another man because a part of her kept thinking about Steve.
"I feel tired," she admits. "And Dooley is going to have my head for skipping out on the job like this, though only because they'll miss their lunch orders," she says bitterly. "Darling," she murmurs. "Oh, when they find out you're back, everyone will want a piece of you."
And yet, Peggy wants the largest slice of that pie.
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Date: 2018-11-21 03:41 am (UTC)He knows she's right, but here in this moment it's just the two of them and for that he's infinitely grateful. "Then we'd better make this moment count."
He's thought about this moment countless times, though never exactly under these circumstances. He leans forward the soft leather of the seat squeaking softly, as he leans in to kiss her.
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From:Have the band play something slow
Date: 2018-12-13 01:13 am (UTC)The Stork Club is the way he imagined it, though it is strange not to see uniforms at every turn. With the war over, most men have packed away their uniforms and instead wear broad breasted suits. The line is outside the door, but he makes his way through with little fanfare in Howard's wake. They make their way towards the bar and Howard orders some liquid courage for him with a friendly pat on the back. Steve doesn't have the heart to tell him that it doesn't have any effect on him.
"You know, you look just like Captain America," a cigarette girl says, stopping as she walks by him.
Steve smiles, glancing towards the door before returning his attention to her. "I get that a lot."
"Not a bad fella to look like," she says, giving him a wink before walking away.
"You know, you're going to have to tell the world soon," Howard says, knocking back his drink.
Steve nods. He knows. "I just want one night before then."
One night where all he has to be is Steve Rogers.
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Date: 2018-12-13 02:23 am (UTC)She wore the gold dress that she'd worn undercover, aware that it would sparkle in the lights. The bad memories that went with it could be washed away, she hoped, but then, so many things she could wear had ill shadows cast on them. Peggy couldn't really relegate any of them to the past so easily.
She'd come to the Stork Club only the once before. It had been the date they'd been supposed to meet. She'd sat at the bar, drinking, and didn't dance the once. Tonight, she knows will be different. She puts her hair in an updo, curls falling over the nape of her neck, walking inside and feeling terribly nervous about all of this.
What if he's not here? What if something's happened to him?
It doesn't take long for her to place Howard in the fracas and with him...Steve. Frozen at the door, she clutches her purse a little tighter, beginning to let the crowd drift her towards him, feeling unsteady as she approaches, her heart beating hard in her chest.
When she reaches him, she stops two feet shy, looking up (despite her three inch gold heels), a hungry look on her face he ought to recognize. "It seems I'm late, this time."
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Date: 2018-12-18 05:19 am (UTC)He steps away from the bar, the world around them seeming to melt away as she stops before him. Film had always been an easy escape for him and maybe he's seen too many over the years, but as he smiles back at her with the knowledge that the night is theirs, he can't help but feel a little like the leads in one of the black and whites he used to watch.
"It doesn't seem fair to hold it against you," he says, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He holds out his hand, gathering up his courage. "Do you want to dance?"
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Date: 2018-12-19 09:11 pm (UTC)"I have been waiting a very long time for the right partner," she agrees, her eyes fixed on him, holding out her hand. "I won't even mind if he steps on my toes."
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Date: 2018-12-27 05:40 am (UTC)He'd never wanted anyone to do it out of pity, or as a favor to Bucky. He'd also never bothered learning how to do the steps properly, though he had plenty of experience watching others dance. He knows he's no Astaire, but he thinks maybe he can avoid stepping on Peggy's feet if he's very careful.
"I'll do my best to make sure you don't leave with any broken toes," he says as he takes a few tentative steps.
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Date: 2018-12-27 08:27 pm (UTC)"You're not even going to let me lead?" she teases, but she only presses closer as she stares up at him with such fond adoration in her eyes, utterly transfixed and caught up in the dance. "Darling, you could break my ankle and I'd still think this the best date of my life."
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Date: 2019-01-11 07:02 am (UTC)"Don't jinx me," he says, his voice low and eyes bright as he smiles back at her. Still, her words give him a boost of confidence. Even if he isn't the best dancer, it doesn't matter as long as he has Peggy in his arms.
He swallows. "You look beautiful."
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From:The Substitute Captain America Project
Date: 2018-12-20 02:01 am (UTC)For once, she'd thought that she was being brought in to actually be given a mission and to be set out into the world with purpose. Instead, she'd been sat down opposite a familiar man who wasn't familiar at all, told that he's Barnes, and that he's going to be filling in for Captain America because they need to keep the image going to keep the Russians in line after the war.
All that had been shock enough. What had been truly over the top for Peggy was when Dooley and the others had the gall to suggest that in order to keep the guise working and for everyone to believe it, she needed to be seen publicly and romantically linked with him.
"Everyone knows you and Cap had a thing," had been the unflattering way they had put it.
She wished that she could have said no, but unfortunately, her role with the SSR meant that she had to accept the missions she'd been given, even if this one felt utterly useless apart from her swooning in public. Romantic with a stranger. This was the best the SSR had to give her.
Standing at her desk, Peggy feels utterly aimless. She could call Howard and complain viciously to him, but she was sworn to secrecy. She knows that she ought to simply go and talk to Barnes, but she's trying to put it off for the moment. Leaning forward against the desk, she grips it and stares, steely, forward until Barnes is led out of the room as well.
Better to talk now, isn't it? Gesturing for him to come sit with her, she stays standing and wonders just what the hell she's going to lead with. This certainly had never been covered in any of her training. ]
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Date: 2018-12-24 11:17 am (UTC)It had sounded fine, even if Bucky was still hoping to find a way back. But well, the briefing proved that it comes with a lot more strings than he'd been planning for. Namely that Steve had a girl here. And it's someone with a name he recognizes, even if her face isn't familiar.
When it's over, he doesn't push Peggy. He gives her space until she gestures him over, and he obligingly slides into the seat by her, a lift of an eyebrow. He's empathetic for her situation, really. Losing Steve and then being told that they were pushing someone else into the role, and that meant they wanted her to keep playing the part? He wishes he could apologize for it.
But considering this isn't his world, and he doesn't have much of a lock on a way back just yet, he's trying not to rock the boat all at once. Not yet, at least.]
I'm doing this for Steve, not for them.
[It's a quiet piece of honesty, an he's almost solemn as he looks into her eyes, a soft sigh on his lips. When he'd taken the job from Tony, he'd had a set of rules that went with it. One of them had been that there were no strings, that he didn't answer to anyone. This is pretty much the opposite of that, but he's biding his time for the moment. If he can't get back, if this is real? Then he might need to take a second look at the terms.
And the truth is that Bucky knows Steve would want him to do it. Maybe not like this, but he can still recite the words from the letter that Tony had received, he'd held it in his hands, read it over and over until the words burned. Don't let the dream die, because Steve thought it was bigger than him. And Tony had been right about the fact that Bucky wouldn't let anyone else touch the shield. So he ends up here for the second time now. His smile rueful, a little shy.]
You know, back home I didn't just work by myself.
[Which is a quiet sort of implication carried mostly in the look in his eyes. Because he doesn't expect her to just be his love interest, swooning in his arms for the cameras. He wants her to do more than that, could probably use it while he gets his feet. Given her tone, the sharpness of her eyes, he thinks that she wants more than that, too. But it's an offer, not a demand.
It's not that he trusts her more than the SSR, but Peggy Carter in his world was a woman that did what she thought needed to be done, had been Steve's flame back during the war. They might not be the same, but well. It's something to start with.]
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Date: 2018-12-27 07:44 pm (UTC)It also feels terribly like a relief. She'd thought herself alone. Steve, dead. Barnes, fallen. She still had the Commandos, but it was rather different with them. They hadn't had a connection to who Captain America was before the procedure.
When he speaks, she's thrown off guard again. He's not anyone she knows, though she's going to have to learn in a hurry, given her assignment (one that makes her bristle, and yet at the same time, she would rather accompany Thompson on a willing date than let anyone else have this gig). ]
I know. I am, as well.
[ Because that's the truth. Captain America had a compass with her photo in it, which means the world expects to see her with him. If they want to do this right and do right by his memory, she's willing to play along.
Lucky for her, it seems that Barnes isn't only wanting her to look pretty and polished for a few photography opportunities. ]
Oh? And what did your team do for you?
[ Best to find out precisely what he's after before she goes ahead and signs away everything she might not be willing to give, especially seeing as she doesn't actually know this man. ]