Steve is hyperaware of every touch, every kiss, and he's so sensitive right now that even the feel of Peggy's breath against his cheek is enough to make a shiver race down his spine and heat pool at the base of it. He's close now, trembling with the effort of trying to hold on just a little longer and at her plea to go harder, he lets go of the reserve he has on his strength and complies with her wish.
All he's wanted since he first saw her is this, to be with her and to be with her and now that he has it, it almost doesn't feel real.
Her grip on his hair slides away from all gentleness when Steve complies with her demand, mangling and mussing up his hair so that it's going to stick up in every direction when they're through, but given that hers is currently being flattened against the bed as Steve fucks her, she thinks they'll certainly be even. She's at a loss for words, at a loss for thoughts, so encompassed by the sensation of Steve inside her. The thoughts come in brief flashes, now, as she wishes they'd done this during the war, wishes she'd jumped him at Lehigh, but all that she really cares is that they worked their way around to it.
Letting out a surprised cry, Peggy comes far before she'd expected to, as if the thought of how long she'd waited for this has pushed her over a grateful edge. "Oh, Steve, my darling," she exhales, in supreme satisfaction.
Steve is glad she comes when she does because he couldn't hold on a second
longer, thrusting one last time and holding still as the orgasm hits him.
It's not the same when he's wearing a condom, no, but he's not risking
getting Peggy pregnant when they're not married and her work in the field
is just as important (if not more so) than his. He's not going to
compromise that.
"I love you. I love you so much," he manages, just holding himself on top
of her and inside her for a moment longer. He wants to preserve these
minutes forever.
Far from intentional, Peggy lets out a relieved sound that might just be a suppressed sob when she hears those words from Steve while they roll around in a false marriage bed, wearing fake rings, playing at the life that she truly, genuinely could only have ever imagined with one man. Skimming her fingers lightly up and down his sides, she stares at him with sadness and wonder.
"Do you think it will be enough to give us the chance to be together, once this mission is done?" she asks, wishing she weren't being so pessimistic, but it feels a terrible deal like reality.
"I don't know. I'm going to fight for it if they're not going to," Steve says. He's always been aggressively optimistic and this is no exception. He has to believe there's a way that he's going to end up being with Peggy on a permanent basis because if he focuses on the negatives, he'll let it consume him. Instead, he focuses on the idea of a marriage and a family with her and a chance to set things right after years of being without her.
Peggy adjusts her position so that she can rest her cheek on Steve's chest, breathing rapidly and deeply as she's still coming down from the exertion of their activities. "What happens if we manage to get our way?" she asks him, peering up past sweaty curls so that she can look at him. "If we complete this mission successfully, if we get to go home, together, what do we do next?"
"Next? Well, I intend to ask you to marry me, Peggy Carter," Steve says. He can't help but laugh and it's a sound of pure joy because this is something he thought he'd never have. It's a mission right now and he knows that but his whole world is in his arms right now and he doesn't ever want to let her go. No government, no mission, nothing is going to make him give her up. He'll walk away if it comes to that.
For a moment, a genuine moment, Peggy assumes he's simply joking. After all, they're playing at it for a mission, why on earth would he be serious about it, but she quickly sees from the look on his face that he is. It takes her aback, mainly because the last time a man proposed, it had been a rather sad affair, as if they ought to just get on with their lives and shack up.
"No ring, barely even any effort," Peggy can't help teasing when she finds her voice, though her answer is already 'yes' in the way she's smiling and looking up at him. She's sprawled atop him, comfortably, and laughs with delight. "I don't know. I appreciate effort, Steve."
Steve has the decency to blush when he realizes just how badly he's done this. She's right. No ring, no preparation, no effort. Here he is, proposing to the woman of his dreams when they're both sweaty and naked and pretending to be married for the sake of a mission. It's hardly the kind of dream proposal you see in pictures and magazines.
"Peggy, I'm sorry. I owe you better than that. Can it just be...the pre-proposal?"
Peggy rolls over onto her stomach so that she can curl her way into Steve's body, amused at the blush she's earned. She runs her fingers over his cheeks. "I didn't know you could still blush," is what she has to say, but she's terribly fond of it, draping her arm around his waist. "The answer is going to be yes," she tells him, chin on his sternum.
"I am curious to see what you would think of for an actual proposal, given how utterly dramatic you can be," she accuses. "Don't involve Howard," is the blunt warning (and her only real warning, she thinks).
"I'm not dramatic," Steve protests. Still, even as he says it he knows it's a lie. He can have a flair for the dramatic even if it's in the interest of doing things the right way and making sure that Peggy gets treated the way a woman like her deserves to be treated. He brushes a wayward curl off her face.
"I'm not letting Howard around to fondue his way into my proposal."
She raises a pointed brow at him when he comments that he's not dramatic, seeing as Peggy could run up a list at any moment to prove him so very wrong. At the same time, she's utterly in love with this dramatic man as much as she's ever been and she can't find it in herself to care what lengths he goes to. "Darling, I love every bit of you, dramatic or not," she vows, with a brushed kiss to his cheek.
"Should I give you hints as to what I might like?" she asks, a touch excited at the notion of a proposal, though it's more that she's excited to spend a life with Steve, given the chances they were denied.
"Isn't the man supposed to plan the proposal?" Steve asks, only half joking. He slides a hand down the length of her body, fingertips gliding gently over the curve of her waist. He loves her more than anyone or anything and he wants to do this right. He also doesn't want Peggy to feel like she has to tell him exactly what she wants in order for him to get it right. That's not fair to her.
"I do, but I also value a well-thought out mission," Peggy replies, seeing as she wants to make sure that he's covering all the basis. Inhaling deeply, she feels as though there must be some way that they can work to compromise. She nods when she feels she has it. "I know," she says, curling into the warmth of Steve's body.
"When we're done with this mission and you've proved you're going to stay with me, you can ask Jarvis for his advice," she says. "He knows me well enough, he's quite strategically minded himself, and he'll be able to approve of whether I'll like it."
Steve laughs a little but he accepts that compromise. He doesn't want to do
badly by Peggy and if she thinks Jarvis will help plan a good proposal,
he'll take her word for it. For now, though, he wants to enjoy the stolen
time while he has the chance.
"They've stolen so much time from us," Steve says softly. "It only seems
fair we steal some from them."
Peggy doesn't want to think too hard about that, seeing as she's simply going to get angry again about all the lost time that they've experienced. Unfortunately, there's a mission in the morning to think about and the sun is going to come up far sooner than she wants it to, no matter how much time she wants to steal back.
"I don't want to go anywhere," she admits, stretching her body out in a languid, slow stretch, sliding her knee in between his thighs to position herself perfectly. "That said, I also refuse to fail in our mission."
"We'll succeed, Peggy. There's no way that we won't," Steve assures her. It's difficult to talk about how much time they've missed because of the government and circumstances but he wants to preserve this moment for them and them alone.
"I have no doubt in my mind that we can do this. Me and you together."
She's dreamed of this with him. She'd wanted to work missions together and pursue a partnership that she knew had legs to it, something that was honest and incredible and brought the best out of them. "You know, ever since you crashed, I've been trying to live my life to standards that you would approve of," she admits, because when she finds herself without a rudder, she turns back to that.
"I thought to myself, 'is this what Steve would do', but I'm afraid I failed more than I succeeded," she notes quietly.
"Don't put me on a pedestal, Peggy," Steve warns. He props on an elbow and
watches her, gently runs a hand down the length of her body to temper his
words somewhat. He's not some great hero. He's just the guy who does what
needs to be done even if it's hard and even if it's something nobody else
dares to do. That's who he is. It's not something to be lauded - it's just
what needs to be done.
"I'm flesh and blood, all right? I make mistakes."
"You were Erskine's pick, that makes you better," Peggy remarks, speaking only fact as far as she's concerned. "You make me better," she says, earnest and honest as she holds his gaze. "I mean it, Steve, I'm not saying that you're perfect, but you make me aspire to be better than I am."
"When I want to take credit, when I want to be selfish, I remember that you do what you do not for glory or credit, but for the act of doing it. It's things like that, that's what I mean."
"You're not selfish, though. You're the kind of person who gets the job done because it's meant to be done, not because you want the credit for it."
Steve is firm in that. If she's going to laud him for his accomplishments, he'll do her the same kindness and the praise that falls from his lips is nothing but true. "I love you, Peggy Carter. No matter what."
"Sometimes, I want the credit," she admits, not wanting Steve to think that's she's entirely selfless the way that he can be. Sometimes, when she has a wonderful collar or does something, she wants that credit and has to remind herself that it's not why she did it in the first place. "I love you too, Steve," she says, cupping his cheek.
"When I thought I'd lost you..." she trails off, giving him a sad look. "I still hadn't moved on, you know. Even up until arriving here, I couldn't make myself do it."
"I'm glad you hadn't. I would have understood, of course, but it would have
broken my heart to know you were happy with someone else and living some
other life. I'm glad...I'm glad I wasn't too late for this."
He's not entirely selfless, either, and he's more selfish than anything
else when it comes to Peggy.
"I'm glad, as well," Peggy says, trying to stifle her yawn because it's not that Steve is boring her, not in the least, but at the same time, she's worn from the day, the night, and the emotions that she's laid bare before them. She curls into Steve a little closer.
"We should rest," she admits, though she hardly wants to close her eyes and take her attention off of him, for fear he might vanish. "I'm sure I'll have to entertain our mark tomorrow and I need the rest to be the perfect housewife."
"No dark circles," Steve says, brushing his thumb against her cheek.
"Because you don't have children yet so you don't have a reason to be run
ragged, right?"
He wants children someday, oh yes, but that's a conversation to be had when
they're back home and not on a mission with a mark to pursue and objectives
to accomplish. It's not for here and now, even if they're comfortably
intimate.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-07-01 05:27 am (UTC)All he's wanted since he first saw her is this, to be with her and to be with her and now that he has it, it almost doesn't feel real.
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Date: 2017-07-02 12:42 am (UTC)Letting out a surprised cry, Peggy comes far before she'd expected to, as if the thought of how long she'd waited for this has pushed her over a grateful edge. "Oh, Steve, my darling," she exhales, in supreme satisfaction.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-04 01:43 pm (UTC)Steve is glad she comes when she does because he couldn't hold on a second longer, thrusting one last time and holding still as the orgasm hits him. It's not the same when he's wearing a condom, no, but he's not risking getting Peggy pregnant when they're not married and her work in the field is just as important (if not more so) than his. He's not going to compromise that.
"I love you. I love you so much," he manages, just holding himself on top of her and inside her for a moment longer. He wants to preserve these minutes forever.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-05 03:21 am (UTC)"Do you think it will be enough to give us the chance to be together, once this mission is done?" she asks, wishing she weren't being so pessimistic, but it feels a terrible deal like reality.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-08 02:51 am (UTC)"We'll make it happen."
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Date: 2017-07-09 03:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-09 10:09 pm (UTC)"I hope you're going to say yes."
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Date: 2017-07-11 09:12 pm (UTC)"No ring, barely even any effort," Peggy can't help teasing when she finds her voice, though her answer is already 'yes' in the way she's smiling and looking up at him. She's sprawled atop him, comfortably, and laughs with delight. "I don't know. I appreciate effort, Steve."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-14 08:05 pm (UTC)"Peggy, I'm sorry. I owe you better than that. Can it just be...the pre-proposal?"
no subject
Date: 2017-07-16 08:20 pm (UTC)"I am curious to see what you would think of for an actual proposal, given how utterly dramatic you can be," she accuses. "Don't involve Howard," is the blunt warning (and her only real warning, she thinks).
no subject
Date: 2017-07-18 02:24 am (UTC)"I'm not letting Howard around to fondue his way into my proposal."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-19 12:46 pm (UTC)"Should I give you hints as to what I might like?" she asks, a touch excited at the notion of a proposal, though it's more that she's excited to spend a life with Steve, given the chances they were denied.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-22 03:47 pm (UTC)"Don't you want the surprise of it?"
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Date: 2017-07-23 10:55 pm (UTC)"When we're done with this mission and you've proved you're going to stay with me, you can ask Jarvis for his advice," she says. "He knows me well enough, he's quite strategically minded himself, and he'll be able to approve of whether I'll like it."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-24 05:29 pm (UTC)Steve laughs a little but he accepts that compromise. He doesn't want to do badly by Peggy and if she thinks Jarvis will help plan a good proposal, he'll take her word for it. For now, though, he wants to enjoy the stolen time while he has the chance.
"They've stolen so much time from us," Steve says softly. "It only seems fair we steal some from them."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 12:22 am (UTC)"I don't want to go anywhere," she admits, stretching her body out in a languid, slow stretch, sliding her knee in between his thighs to position herself perfectly. "That said, I also refuse to fail in our mission."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-28 12:27 am (UTC)"I have no doubt in my mind that we can do this. Me and you together."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-30 08:39 pm (UTC)"I thought to myself, 'is this what Steve would do', but I'm afraid I failed more than I succeeded," she notes quietly.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 04:00 am (UTC)"Don't put me on a pedestal, Peggy," Steve warns. He props on an elbow and watches her, gently runs a hand down the length of her body to temper his words somewhat. He's not some great hero. He's just the guy who does what needs to be done even if it's hard and even if it's something nobody else dares to do. That's who he is. It's not something to be lauded - it's just what needs to be done.
"I'm flesh and blood, all right? I make mistakes."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-31 11:24 pm (UTC)"When I want to take credit, when I want to be selfish, I remember that you do what you do not for glory or credit, but for the act of doing it. It's things like that, that's what I mean."
no subject
Date: 2017-08-03 04:28 pm (UTC)"You're not selfish, though. You're the kind of person who gets the job done because it's meant to be done, not because you want the credit for it."
Steve is firm in that. If she's going to laud him for his accomplishments, he'll do her the same kindness and the praise that falls from his lips is nothing but true. "I love you, Peggy Carter. No matter what."
no subject
Date: 2017-08-05 12:48 am (UTC)"When I thought I'd lost you..." she trails off, giving him a sad look. "I still hadn't moved on, you know. Even up until arriving here, I couldn't make myself do it."
no subject
Date: 2017-08-07 12:00 am (UTC)"I'm glad you hadn't. I would have understood, of course, but it would have broken my heart to know you were happy with someone else and living some other life. I'm glad...I'm glad I wasn't too late for this."
He's not entirely selfless, either, and he's more selfish than anything else when it comes to Peggy.
no subject
Date: 2017-08-08 08:37 pm (UTC)"We should rest," she admits, though she hardly wants to close her eyes and take her attention off of him, for fear he might vanish. "I'm sure I'll have to entertain our mark tomorrow and I need the rest to be the perfect housewife."
no subject
Date: 2017-08-09 08:03 pm (UTC)"No dark circles," Steve says, brushing his thumb against her cheek. "Because you don't have children yet so you don't have a reason to be run ragged, right?"
He wants children someday, oh yes, but that's a conversation to be had when they're back home and not on a mission with a mark to pursue and objectives to accomplish. It's not for here and now, even if they're comfortably intimate.
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