womanofvalue | [outlander psl au]

The ground was saturated with so much rain that Peggy thought she might be washed away, but just because the plains were soaked didn't mean that the drills stopped. The soldiers didn't know it yet, but the landings were going to arrive sooner than anyone wanted and that meant no one can be untrained, lest they end up paying with their lives on those beaches. Today, when the fog rolled in, her superiors informed her that she would be running orienteering with her men, eliciting a sharp 'sir, yes, sir' from Peggy before she took the maps to her own private tent in order to brief the Lieutenants.

Leaning over to study the map, her stubborn engagement ring catches her eye. It had managed to escape from where she had tucked it away, just like all her thoughts about Fred. Their engagement was a terse and stressful thing. When she had announced that she was going into the field with the SSR, he had threatened to leave her. It had been her mother that had convinced Fred to wait Peggy out, insisting that once the war was over, things would change.

As much as Peggy was fond of Fred, she was beginning to see the splinters in their engagement turn to wider cracks, chasms so wide that you could lose sight of the love you once shared and guided you towards that engagement. Carefully, she pushed the ring back, securing it with one of her brassiere straps. Snapping her compass shut, she gave the objective and the orders. "I'll be out in the field to keep an eye on each platoon. The first to reach the objective will not run additional miles," she promised.

"The others will be doing laps around the base, respective to their finishing position." Folding up the map, she handed one to each of her four Lieutenants. "Let them look at it for a few hours, then to the navigator." With a few more orders, she allowed them to prepare as she herself got ready. She tugged on knee-high rain boots, an overcoat, and despite the misty fog in the air, she double-checked that her hair and makeup was in good shape.

Several hours later found Peggy in the thick of drills, listening to the shouts of men in the distance as they worked their way towards her and the objective. Standing there with a brolly, she glanced at her pocketwatch and decided mentally that she would see the first platoon in no more than forty-five minutes. Clasping the watch shut, the echo of it was drowned by another sound -- one that didn't belong. The sound of twigs and branches crunching made Peggy reach for her pistol, simply to be ready.

"Phillips?" she called out, thinking perhaps something had happened and she needed to recall her men. She saw the silhouette of what appeared to be a man in the fog and she found herself inexplicably drawn towards him, mainly because it simply didn't make any sense. "Who's there?" she asked, when it was clear that the man she was seeing didn't bear resemblance to anyone on base. This close, she could see that his hair had a strange look to it, not to mention his clothes. "Has there been an accident?" What could have happened to render the man in such a state?

(Peggy also did not need to allow her conscious thoughts to become aware of how handsome the man was, despite the fact she feared she was already a lost cause, given the way she was filled with a renewed warmth and how her gaze lingered)

They were inside a ring of large stones, which she vaguely recalled the locals warning her about. She had paid little mind, marking them perfunctorily on the map before moving on, but now she had to wonder if the talk of strange rituals wasn't at least a little true. Forty-five minutes. She had forty-five minutes until the men arrived, surely she could deal with this surprise in that time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

womanofvalue

"I think that I'm fine without," she says, which is a lie. She's just not sure she can keep dealing with Steve like this, so overwhelming and overpowering to all of her senses. She needs a small break from him, which is why she declines. "I'll see you in the morning, though." Then, she'll pursue the idea of siccing Steve on Erskine in order to get what she wants.

It's a relatively sleepless night, seeing as she spends it tossing and turning, thinking so much about Steve. When she wakes, she has to take cold cream to the bags under her eyes and spend an extra ten minutes on herself to avoid looking like a disaster.

Before she goes, she reads the letter from Fred one last time, not sure that she's ready to deal with it. She'll cope with it later or not at all, in true denial form. When she gets to the mess, she picks up two trays of food and settles in the corner, sipping tea as she works through her notes, trying to shore up her case before she goes to find Erskine.

From:

bearstheshield

Steve finds her at breakfast, coffee and his own tray in hand, and he nods toward the seat opposite her. "This seat taken or can an old soldier sit down?"

He doesn't want to crowd her, no, but he feels like they need to make a plan of attack for speaking with Erskine.

From:

womanofvalue

"It's been waiting for you," is Peggy's honest reply, gesturing to the space beside her. Once Steve is down, she places the tray of food before him, even though she looks at his. He's large enough that the extra food shouldn't be such an ordeal, she imagines, and gestures to it.

"Did you sleep well?" she asks, knowing that her careful work will have masked her own unrest, but hopefully Steve will have found some peace despite his displacement in time.

From:

bearstheshield

"I can sleep just about anywhere, Peggy," Steve promises her. "Sometimes I get better sleep than others but I can usually get to lights out in a few minutes if I put my mind to it. What about you? Did you sleep well?"

She seems a little restless, by his estimation, but he doesn't want to pry. He feels like they're circling one another in a strange dance right now and while he's interested (so interested) he wants to be careful because he's from out of time.

From:

womanofvalue

She knows a thing or two about being able to find rest at any point, in any place, which just makes her feel like they have a connection on levels that she doesn't want to think about. "I slept fine," she lies brusquely, not wanting to talk about how she'd stayed up all night wondering where she'd went wrong (and thinking perhaps it had to do with the fact that she shouldn't have ever been with Fred in the first place).

Eating, and using it as a distraction, she eyes him thoughtfully. "I checked in on Dr. Erskine briefly this morning," she shares. "He seems to be in decent shape, though obviously a little shaken. I think he'll be ready for a visit."

From:

bearstheshield

"Good. I'll be happy to explain just how well the serum works. I don't know if there were any formulary changes between now and the future but we can assume that it's mostly the same now. I can't imagine something like that can change too much."

He hopes not, anyway. "What about you, Peggy. Are you ready to do this?"

From:

womanofvalue

She doesn't know that it matters. As far as she's concerned, Erskine has presented this as a way to get a leg up in the war. She's doing her part to help in that, so her readiness doesn't matter. "It needs to be done and there are no candidates to test on," she says bluntly, trying to hide her nerves at the unknown behind the words.

"It doesn't matter if I'm ready, it matters that I'm here," she says. "Here and with no attachments for them to worry about and my genetic and personality make-up falls in line with his parametres."

From:

bearstheshield

"There's that, yeah, but it...it does set you apart," Steve says. "I'm not trying to talk you out of it. It just always means you're going to be set apart from your peers in some way because you're different. I know you're a strong woman but it was hard for me for the first little while. I didn't know if that was something you'd factored in. I'm going to be the only person around that's just like you."

From:

womanofvalue

She tips her head to one side, refraining from instantly retorting back with a sharp quip, because he doesn't deserve her ire like that. "Steve," she says, gentling her words even if they're still brimming with the unfairness she feels in this situation. "I'm always going to be different. Look around us."

"There's not another woman like me here, because I already am different. Why not let it be useful?" she insists, since at least this will be good for something. "Besides, I won't be entirely different," she adds, heart beating wildly. "There's you, isn't there?"

From:

bearstheshield

"There is," he says softly. "And I don't even know if I can go back to my time. If I end up stuck here, maybe it'd be nice to know that there's another person out there that understands me."

He reaches out and touches her hand lightly. It's probably a breach of a thousand Army protocol rules but he doesn't really care. He wants Peggy to know she's not alone and that he cares about her, even if he's only known her for a short little while.

From:

womanofvalue

She inhales deeply when he touches her hand. There's something about it that feels dangerous and risky, not only for the precarious reputation that she's been building up for herself, but also because she's not sure she should let this connection between them find a way to thrive. Yet, she also can't bring herself to push him away.

"You should also be prepared for it not to work," she musters up the words when too much time has passed and she's nearly curled her fingers in to squeeze his hand in return (she didn't, which is a small victory that feels disappointing, somehow). "That's what happened to Schmidt."

From:

bearstheshield

"I think it works in people it needs to work in," Steve says. "Schmidt wasn't right for it. Maybe it's stupid, or something, but I feel like the serum takes into account the personality of the person it's being used on."

He squeezes her hand lightly. "And you've got a much better personality than he did."

From:

womanofvalue

Her heart is beating faster than before. Twisting her palm just enough so that he's still holding it, but not able to feel the way it's racing, Peggy affords Steve a fond look, unable to help herself. "You're flattering me when you hardly know the personality I might be hiding," she teases.

"You've only known me a few days. What if I'm a terror?" she asks, challenging him to dare agree.

From:

bearstheshield

"I don't think so. I think you're the kind of person who is what she says she is," Steve says. "And maybe that just makes me gullible, like some people say, but I don't think I'm wrong. I think you care about your country and mine and you want to do this to save the world, not make yourself look good."

He gives her a quick, appraising look. "Am I right?"

From:

womanofvalue

Peggy keeps her chin lifted as Steve speaks about her, not wanting to be so beholden to this man's opinion of her, and yet, she finds herself absolutely wanting to make sure that Steve does think well of her. "I do care, about doing the right thing," she confesses, relenting when it seems that he really does know her.

"I don't want praise or glory, I just want to make a difference," she says, realizing that she's still holding onto his hand. Releasing it, she swallows hard, trying not to notice how much she wants to keep going. "So, perhaps that will be the best way to convince Erskine."

From:

bearstheshield

"That's what I told them when I was being considered," Steve says. "So I think that's the way to go. If that's how they're picking them in the future, I bet that's how Erskine selected candidates before. I bet it has more to do with the motivations of the person and less to do with their current physical condition and strength."

He gives her a smile. "I think you've got as good a shot as any."

From:

womanofvalue

She's still not entirely sure how this timeline is meant to work, seeing as he's from after her, so that means that Erskine has successfully tested it, but right now, he hasn't. Does that mean she could be the first successful case? It's still enough to boggle her mind.

"Well, in that case, he'll be the first visit as soon as breakfast is over," she guarantees, staring at him for a long while. "What were you like before the serum?"

From:

bearstheshield

"About 90 pounds with a heart condition," Steve says easily enough. "Asthmatic, wheezing, just about everything that could be wrong with a kid was wrong with me. I wanted to serve my country, though, so I signed up for the test."

He waits a beat. "I went to art school. I used to draw recruitment posters and things like that."

From:

womanofvalue

Peggy gives him a surprised look, because she can hardly imagine the man in front of her weighing even close to that, but there's no reason for him to lie, certainly. "That's not what I was expecting," she confesses, though it does beg the question as to whether it will affect her physically.

No matter, it's what she has to do. "I suppose if I end up twice my size, there'll always be the carnival for me," she deadpans.

From:

bearstheshield

"That's not going to happen," Steve says, shaking his head. "I think it's probably because I was so pathetic to begin with that it did me that way. It enhances you to peak physical condition."

He gives Peggy a quick glance. "You're probably close to that yourself without any serum."

From:

womanofvalue

Peggy raises a brow at Steve when he says what he does, because it sounds rather a lot like quite a lovely compliment. "Are you saying you like my figure, Rogers?" she asks, unable to help drilling a little stern lieutenant voice into the words as she lifts her tray from the table, adding a little expectant look.

It is utterly and totally to mess with his mind, but Peggy feels compelled and familiar enough to do that already, strangely enough.

From:

bearstheshield

Steve coughs awkwardly and turns his head away, trying to hide his embarrassment at being called out like that. He hadn't meant it that way when he said it but in hindsight, it'd come out that way and probably because he does like her figure. He likes it a hell of a lot.

"I'm sure you uh...I'm sure you're aware that you're beautiful. You don't need someone like me to tell you that. Still, I mean, I do like it. But! It's just as an admiration of something beautiful, I don't mean any pressure or anything."

From:

womanofvalue

"I'm only teasing you, you don't need to sputter like you've never seen a woman before," she can't help quipping, a rather fond look on her face as she tips her head to one side to regard him. She holds out a hand to gesture for him to come with her, trying not to seem overly amused by the way he's flustered.

Though, it is terribly flattering, and for a woman who's coping with recent heartbreak, it's even lovelier to have.

From:

bearstheshield

"I don't end up on the receiving end of a lot of women teasing me," Steve says, giving her a bit of a wry look. "So it's not like I have a lot of practice with it."

It's easier to push it back on her than to think about it and get flustered again.

From:

womanofvalue

She almost asks whether that's even possible, despite the fact that he's admitted that he didn't always used to look like this. Still, he's been kind and devoted and polite, so even if he didn't have this physical form, Peggy wants to know what women were possibly thinking?

Setting her tray at one of the clearing stations, she stands and readies herself for what's coming next. "Right, let's go. With luck, persuading Erskine won't take very long. I'd like to be able to continue with Project Rebirth as soon as possible."