The end rushes up to meet him before he can get all the words out. The cold is cruel and death is far from instant. He tries to hold onto the thought of her voice, tries to imagine her walking through the doors of the Stork Club in that red dress. His last thoughts before the world goes black are of Peggy Carter and the taste of her lips.
When he wakes he finds himself in a recovery room in New York City. He used to visit enough of them before the serum to know a hospital when he sees it. He sits up, nearly giving the nurse that enters his room looking down at a clipboard a heart attack when she walks in. Apparently she hadn't expected him to wake up this quickly.
They try to explain the situation to him - he's been frozen for a full year and the war is over - until Howard of all people shows up and makes even shorter work of the explanation.
"Yeah, frozen solid. You shouldn't be alive, but you are. Welcome back, Steve."
Howard tries to catch him up on what he can and Steve tries to wrap his head around all of it. It doesn't take him long to ask about the Commandos. About Peggy. Howard's eyes light up.
"She's here in New York. Still working for the SSR. I can take you to her if you want?"
Steve can't think of anything he wants more. Though, considering the chaos that ensues, he thinks he probably should've found her himself. He's sitting in the back of one of Howard's fancy cars when his butler, Jarvis steps out and disappears into a diner. Five minutes later they're in the alley, Steve's heart speeding up as Peggy emerges outside a back door. She looks just the way he remembers her and for a moment he forgets to breathe.
Of course in that moment, Jarvis has managed to get himself punched out and Howard has started the car. Steve knows what's going to happen before Peggy pulls out the gun and fires at the car and he ducks as Howard brings the car to a halt beside her.
"I know, we should've called," Howard says, leaning out the door and giving Peggy a shit eating grin. "Thing is, we don't want the public hearing about this until he's had time to get acclimated to things."
Steve forces himself to sit up in the backseat, his heart pounding as he meet's Peggy's eyes. His mouth is suddenly full of ash as he tries to speak. "Hello, Peggy."
Since Peggy had been back to New York, she's been throwing herself into work. The shadow of Steve lingers over everything and despite her intentions of letting go, she can't. With Howard constantly going up to the Arctic to search for him and her heart's silly unwillingness to let go, she finds herself stuck in love with a man who's most likely dead.
Every week, she walks to the Brooklyn Bridge and sits there to see the view he would have seen, which only continues to drive to keep Steve well and alive in her head.
And then, weeks after she's started with the SSR and she starts to believe the job almost intolerable (she wants to impress Dooley, but the men won't let her), Howard calls after one of his expeditions and is furiously vague, but he sounds relieved. Perhaps he's found the body and they can all finally have closure.
What Peggy doesn't expect is to be in the midst of filing for Thompson because he doesn't know his bloody alphabet, when all chaos breaks loose.
Steve is there. Steve is alive.
Hand on her gun, she's not entirely sure that this is real, and from the look on her face as she gapes at Howard, then Steve, and then at Howard again.
"You ought to get out of this car right now so I can punch you," is said to Howard, because he's the one who truly deserves it. Her eyes slide to Steve, narrowing as her heart pounds wildly. "I haven't decided on you, yet."
She has to work. If she vanishes like this, Dooley and the others will have a field day, crowing that she's irresponsible. And yet, she opens the other door to the backseat and crawls in, slamming it shut behind her. "How is this possible?" she asks, her fingers drifting to Steve, but not touching; instead, retracting back at the last moment.
"Punch me or kiss me?" Howard asks, his grin widening into a smile. He glances back at Steve who can't seem to stop staring at Peggy. He's gripping the back of Howard's seat tight enough to leave imprints of his fingers. "Careful, Rogers. This is a Royce."
And then Peggy's there, in front of him, her fingers moving towards him and then pulling back. He reaches out for her hand on instinct, enclosing her wrist with his fingers. Half afraid that she's going to climb right back out of this car. There are so many things he wants to say and yet, he can't seem to be able to form the words.
"We found him, Pegs," Howard says, seemingly all too happy to fill up the silence. "He was frozen solid. The serum kept him alive." Steve forces himself to swallow.
"I had a date," Steve says slowly, meeting Peggy's eyes.
Howard reaches out and pats him on the shoulder, taking a deep breath as Jarvis returns to the car. "Well, seeing as how someone just shot out our front tire, me and Jarvis will get to work on the spare and leave you two love birds alone." He squeezes Steve's shoulder and lets himself out of the car, leaving he and Peggy alone in the backseat.
Steve swallows, realizing his fingers are still around her wrist. "Sorry, when he said he'd bring me to you, I didn't think about things going this way."
"You already learned what happens when you try and kiss me, do you really want to revisit that?" she challenges Howard, hoping that he can remember the brisk temperature of the Thames. She's not looking at Howard, though, still gaping back at Steve like he's not actually real.
He can't be real, can he? How on earth can he be here and real?
"It would have been much better not to accost me in an alleyway, no," she agrees, but she's staring at him and she can feel the lump in her throat growing. She had mourned him, even if she'd never let him go, and now he's here and he's alive. "Were you conscious?" she asks, tenderly reaching for his cheek. "Could you feel the cold?"
"Howard tried to kiss you?" Steve asks, his brow furrowing as he watches Howard's retreating back through the glass window of the backseat. He's not entirely sure how he feels about that. Though he absolutely knows how he feels about Peggy's use of tried.
He smiles at her, leaning into her touch. Her question makes him think about freezing water and the cold seeping into first his bones and then his breath. He swallows down a sick feeling, looking back at her and trying to drink in the warmth of her face.
"I was out cold," he says, smiling faintly at his pun. He inhales deeply. "You look beautiful. It's so good to see you again."
"I knocked him in the Thames for it," Peggy announces proudly, a sly smirk on her face. "Do you know, he can't swim? The frogmen had to fish him out," she tells him proudly, delighted in the fact that she'd been able to show Howard why it's a bad idea to kiss her.
It's not even that she'd been waiting for Steve, not really, but with him here, a part of her has to admit that she'd been holding out hope. After all, she wouldn't even consider another man because a part of her kept thinking about Steve.
"I feel tired," she admits. "And Dooley is going to have my head for skipping out on the job like this, though only because they'll miss their lunch orders," she says bitterly. "Darling," she murmurs. "Oh, when they find out you're back, everyone will want a piece of you."
And yet, Peggy wants the largest slice of that pie.
Steve gives a small huff of amusement, a faint smile spreading across his lips at her recollection of Howard's attempt. He glances at Howard, casually leaning against the side of the car as his butler fishes out the spare tire from the trunk. His smile widens as he looks back at her. "Good."
He knows she's right, but here in this moment it's just the two of them and for that he's infinitely grateful. "Then we'd better make this moment count."
He's thought about this moment countless times, though never exactly under these circumstances. He leans forward the soft leather of the seat squeaking softly, as he leans in to kiss her.
Peggy had been dreaming about this moment, yet when it's happening right in front of her, she finds herself shocked by the kiss. She shouldn't be, because she's so very glad for it (given that their brief kiss on the motorcycle had been both too short and a lifetime ago), but it doesn't take her long to shake off that shock.
Melting forward, they're stationary this time as she cups his cheek and kisses him the way she'd meant to, the way she'd wanted to when he got through with the Valkyrie.
It would be very inappropriate to simply climb into his lap. Lucky for her, the knock on the car reminds her of their company and she pulls back, flushed fixing her hair. "You must be exhausted. Do you want to go home?" She then realizes that she's not sure that's been settled, and with a brief glance to Howard, she's not sure if she should have brought that up.
There's a moment when he thinks maybe he's acted too quickly. After all, even if he has been thinking about this moment, it doesn't necessarily mean that Peggy has. He also has had a few hours on her to get used to the idea of being back. So maybe it's not entirely fair to jump right into things. However, she softens against him, kissing him thoroughly in a way that leaves his head spinning.
He watches her as she smoothes down her hair, wondering if it's completely noticeable that he can't stop grinning like an idiot, even if he wanted to. "I'm not entirely sure where that is," he admits. He has no intention of returning to that sterile recovery room. "I'll probably get a room somewhere until I can get things sorted out."
He takes a deep breath. There are so many things that he needs to take care of. People he needs to notify, and yet he can't stop focusing on the one in front of him. "Do you mind if I ask... what time do you get off?"
No, he wouldn't, would he? She bites back on her plea for him to come home with her, because the ghost of her dead roommate is certainly not going to help any and if she does get into the Griffith as Angie so desperately wants, Mrs. Fry is hardly going to approve of her gentleman caller.
Though, Peggy certainly approves of him terribly much. Her eyes fixed on him, she knows that she wants nothing more than to stay in this car, but she does have to go back, no matter how much gruff she's bound to catch from Thompson.
"I'm sure I can think of a way to clock out at four," she vows, intending to offer Dooley an excuse of lady problems, if she's given too much resistance. "You're not going far, are you?" She knows she sounds young and nervous, but she is. He did go down in a plane crash and she is rather afraid of losing him again.
His eyes brighten a little at that promise. He knows he has no right to come busting into Peggy's life, but he feels as if he's lost so much time frozen in the ice, he has a lot to make up for.
"No, not far," he says, giving her a small smile. "I was thinking of stopping by the Stork Club, later. I've got a date."
He's pretty sure he sounds like an utter sap, but he can't really bother to care. Not when Peggy is looking at him like that. Not when it's taking nearly everything in him not to lean in to kiss her again.
Peggy's eyes widen, not because she doesn't want to go, but there's suddenly a great number of things she has to do tonight if she wants to be at the Stork Club. She's not even sure she has a dress that she likes, because most of hers have been for undercover use and not for dancing with the man she loves.
And yet, she knows she's going to make it work, because for Steve, she would do anything. "What time would that be? If a curious girl happened to want to know when to ensure she was there to prevent a frenzy from breaking out at such a handsome man dropping by?"
"Seven?" He asks, raising his eyebrows the tiniest bit at the compliment. He knows that some people find him handsome, but hearing it come from Peggy is something else entirely. He tries not to look too pleased at it, even if he can feel warmth spreading from his chest upward.
He's really not sure if he's ready for this. He should wait until he can at least get in a few dancing lessons, but that last conversation keeps playing over and over in his head. He feels like they can't really move forward until they play it out exactly the way they'd said.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to be dancing with just anyone. I'll be holding out for the right partner."
She checks her watch, debating whether that's going to give her enough time and luckily, it does seem that she'll be able to prepare herself. She's not entirely vain, but for a night with Steve that's been haunting her dreams, she wants to be absolutely perfect, which means finding a dress and potentially recruiting Angie to help with her hair.
"I still can't believe you're sitting here, alive," she murmurs, staring at him and reaching out to cup his cheek, sliding the pad of her thumb along the curve of his jaw. "Promise you're not going to down any planes between now and seven?"
It may seem a silly question, but she would like to hear it out loud, just for her sanity.
"Me either," he admits, leaning into her touch the tiniest bit. It's difficult not to look down at those red lips and lean in for another life affirming kiss.
"I promise," he says, his mouth curving up into a smile, his eyes warming the tiniest bit. "Nothing is going to keep me from being there."
He slides his hand over hers. "I should probably let you get back to work." And yet, it's difficult to move. He could sit here with her forever if the world allowed him to. He swallows. "I'll see you tonight."
She doesn't want to leave this car, but if she doesn't, they're not going anywhere. While that prospect has a great deal of promise, it's something that they can do later, when they haven't just reunited. Pinning Steve to Howard's back seat and showing off the mirror she knows is there isn't exactly ladylike behaviour.
Besides, she truly does want that dance.
Reluctantly, Peggy begins to slide towards the door, but not before she wraps a hand around his neck and drags herself in for another desperate, hungry kiss. "Don't you dare give me another rain cheque," she murmurs, eyes closed as she speaks in between peppered kisses. "I can't forgive that twice."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he sighs between kisses, his face warming steadily. As far as he's concerned they could go dancing right this moment, or spend the rest of their lives in the backseat of this car. It doesn't really matter as long as Peggy was there with him.
But she has a job to do. And he wouldn't put that or her reputation on the line, no matter how much he wants her all to himself. He leans in for one more kiss, a promise.
Peggy finally pulls herself out of Howard's car, though she's so very reluctant to go anywhere that isn't right there in his arms. Her heart is aching, but not with grief for the first time in so very long. Instead, her heart aches with the joy of knowing that Steve is here and he's alive.
"Tell Howard to find you something nice to wear," is said more to Howard than to Steve, glancing over her shoulder to the man in question with the sharp eye of a woman who will not be told no.
She has to find a dress that's suitable, but luckily, she's got the gold one from her mission and this is a far better use for it than kissing bad men with poison lipstick. "Seven sharp," she echoes. "I'll see you soon, my darling."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
womanofvalue) wrote2019-09-25 08:31 pm
My War is Over
When he wakes he finds himself in a recovery room in New York City. He used to visit enough of them before the serum to know a hospital when he sees it. He sits up, nearly giving the nurse that enters his room looking down at a clipboard a heart attack when she walks in. Apparently she hadn't expected him to wake up this quickly.
They try to explain the situation to him - he's been frozen for a full year and the war is over - until Howard of all people shows up and makes even shorter work of the explanation.
"Yeah, frozen solid. You shouldn't be alive, but you are. Welcome back, Steve."
Howard tries to catch him up on what he can and Steve tries to wrap his head around all of it. It doesn't take him long to ask about the Commandos. About Peggy. Howard's eyes light up.
"She's here in New York. Still working for the SSR. I can take you to her if you want?"
Steve can't think of anything he wants more. Though, considering the chaos that ensues, he thinks he probably should've found her himself. He's sitting in the back of one of Howard's fancy cars when his butler, Jarvis steps out and disappears into a diner. Five minutes later they're in the alley, Steve's heart speeding up as Peggy emerges outside a back door. She looks just the way he remembers her and for a moment he forgets to breathe.
Of course in that moment, Jarvis has managed to get himself punched out and Howard has started the car. Steve knows what's going to happen before Peggy pulls out the gun and fires at the car and he ducks as Howard brings the car to a halt beside her.
"I know, we should've called," Howard says, leaning out the door and giving Peggy a shit eating grin. "Thing is, we don't want the public hearing about this until he's had time to get acclimated to things."
Steve forces himself to sit up in the backseat, his heart pounding as he meet's Peggy's eyes. His mouth is suddenly full of ash as he tries to speak. "Hello, Peggy."
no subject
Every week, she walks to the Brooklyn Bridge and sits there to see the view he would have seen, which only continues to drive to keep Steve well and alive in her head.
And then, weeks after she's started with the SSR and she starts to believe the job almost intolerable (she wants to impress Dooley, but the men won't let her), Howard calls after one of his expeditions and is furiously vague, but he sounds relieved. Perhaps he's found the body and they can all finally have closure.
What Peggy doesn't expect is to be in the midst of filing for Thompson because he doesn't know his bloody alphabet, when all chaos breaks loose.
Steve is there. Steve is alive.
Hand on her gun, she's not entirely sure that this is real, and from the look on her face as she gapes at Howard, then Steve, and then at Howard again.
"You ought to get out of this car right now so I can punch you," is said to Howard, because he's the one who truly deserves it. Her eyes slide to Steve, narrowing as her heart pounds wildly. "I haven't decided on you, yet."
She has to work. If she vanishes like this, Dooley and the others will have a field day, crowing that she's irresponsible. And yet, she opens the other door to the backseat and crawls in, slamming it shut behind her. "How is this possible?" she asks, her fingers drifting to Steve, but not touching; instead, retracting back at the last moment.
no subject
And then Peggy's there, in front of him, her fingers moving towards him and then pulling back. He reaches out for her hand on instinct, enclosing her wrist with his fingers. Half afraid that she's going to climb right back out of this car. There are so many things he wants to say and yet, he can't seem to be able to form the words.
"We found him, Pegs," Howard says, seemingly all too happy to fill up the silence. "He was frozen solid. The serum kept him alive." Steve forces himself to swallow.
"I had a date," Steve says slowly, meeting Peggy's eyes.
Howard reaches out and pats him on the shoulder, taking a deep breath as Jarvis returns to the car. "Well, seeing as how someone just shot out our front tire, me and Jarvis will get to work on the spare and leave you two love birds alone." He squeezes Steve's shoulder and lets himself out of the car, leaving he and Peggy alone in the backseat.
Steve swallows, realizing his fingers are still around her wrist. "Sorry, when he said he'd bring me to you, I didn't think about things going this way."
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He can't be real, can he? How on earth can he be here and real?
"It would have been much better not to accost me in an alleyway, no," she agrees, but she's staring at him and she can feel the lump in her throat growing. She had mourned him, even if she'd never let him go, and now he's here and he's alive. "Were you conscious?" she asks, tenderly reaching for his cheek. "Could you feel the cold?"
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He smiles at her, leaning into her touch. Her question makes him think about freezing water and the cold seeping into first his bones and then his breath. He swallows down a sick feeling, looking back at her and trying to drink in the warmth of her face.
"I was out cold," he says, smiling faintly at his pun. He inhales deeply. "You look beautiful. It's so good to see you again."
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It's not even that she'd been waiting for Steve, not really, but with him here, a part of her has to admit that she'd been holding out hope. After all, she wouldn't even consider another man because a part of her kept thinking about Steve.
"I feel tired," she admits. "And Dooley is going to have my head for skipping out on the job like this, though only because they'll miss their lunch orders," she says bitterly. "Darling," she murmurs. "Oh, when they find out you're back, everyone will want a piece of you."
And yet, Peggy wants the largest slice of that pie.
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He knows she's right, but here in this moment it's just the two of them and for that he's infinitely grateful. "Then we'd better make this moment count."
He's thought about this moment countless times, though never exactly under these circumstances. He leans forward the soft leather of the seat squeaking softly, as he leans in to kiss her.
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Melting forward, they're stationary this time as she cups his cheek and kisses him the way she'd meant to, the way she'd wanted to when he got through with the Valkyrie.
It would be very inappropriate to simply climb into his lap. Lucky for her, the knock on the car reminds her of their company and she pulls back, flushed fixing her hair. "You must be exhausted. Do you want to go home?" She then realizes that she's not sure that's been settled, and with a brief glance to Howard, she's not sure if she should have brought that up.
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He watches her as she smoothes down her hair, wondering if it's completely noticeable that he can't stop grinning like an idiot, even if he wanted to. "I'm not entirely sure where that is," he admits. He has no intention of returning to that sterile recovery room. "I'll probably get a room somewhere until I can get things sorted out."
He takes a deep breath. There are so many things that he needs to take care of. People he needs to notify, and yet he can't stop focusing on the one in front of him. "Do you mind if I ask... what time do you get off?"
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Though, Peggy certainly approves of him terribly much. Her eyes fixed on him, she knows that she wants nothing more than to stay in this car, but she does have to go back, no matter how much gruff she's bound to catch from Thompson.
"I'm sure I can think of a way to clock out at four," she vows, intending to offer Dooley an excuse of lady problems, if she's given too much resistance. "You're not going far, are you?" She knows she sounds young and nervous, but she is. He did go down in a plane crash and she is rather afraid of losing him again.
no subject
"No, not far," he says, giving her a small smile. "I was thinking of stopping by the Stork Club, later. I've got a date."
He's pretty sure he sounds like an utter sap, but he can't really bother to care. Not when Peggy is looking at him like that. Not when it's taking nearly everything in him not to lean in to kiss her again.
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And yet, she knows she's going to make it work, because for Steve, she would do anything. "What time would that be? If a curious girl happened to want to know when to ensure she was there to prevent a frenzy from breaking out at such a handsome man dropping by?"
no subject
He's really not sure if he's ready for this. He should wait until he can at least get in a few dancing lessons, but that last conversation keeps playing over and over in his head. He feels like they can't really move forward until they play it out exactly the way they'd said.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to be dancing with just anyone. I'll be holding out for the right partner."
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"I still can't believe you're sitting here, alive," she murmurs, staring at him and reaching out to cup his cheek, sliding the pad of her thumb along the curve of his jaw. "Promise you're not going to down any planes between now and seven?"
It may seem a silly question, but she would like to hear it out loud, just for her sanity.
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"I promise," he says, his mouth curving up into a smile, his eyes warming the tiniest bit. "Nothing is going to keep me from being there."
He slides his hand over hers. "I should probably let you get back to work." And yet, it's difficult to move. He could sit here with her forever if the world allowed him to. He swallows. "I'll see you tonight."
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Besides, she truly does want that dance.
Reluctantly, Peggy begins to slide towards the door, but not before she wraps a hand around his neck and drags herself in for another desperate, hungry kiss. "Don't you dare give me another rain cheque," she murmurs, eyes closed as she speaks in between peppered kisses. "I can't forgive that twice."
no subject
But she has a job to do. And he wouldn't put that or her reputation on the line, no matter how much he wants her all to himself. He leans in for one more kiss, a promise.
"I'll be there."
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"Tell Howard to find you something nice to wear," is said more to Howard than to Steve, glancing over her shoulder to the man in question with the sharp eye of a woman who will not be told no.
She has to find a dress that's suitable, but luckily, she's got the gold one from her mission and this is a far better use for it than kissing bad men with poison lipstick. "Seven sharp," she echoes. "I'll see you soon, my darling."